File this under "WTF???!!!???"

Check out this story from USA Today. Your plane is hit by a bird, the pilot safely delivers you and ALL the other passengers into a perfectly executed water landing in which no one is seriously injured or killed with no property or people on the ground hurt or killed. I mean you're not even in the water for 10 minutes before help begins to arrive.

Yet, despite that miracle, you feel that the airline's immediate action of sending you and every other passenger a check for $5,000 for "immediate needs" and refunding everyone's entire ticket price without making you sign any kind of waiver stating you won't sue for damages for an incident that was unpreventable and caused you no lasting harm, NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU SURVIVED A PLANE CRASH is somehow not enough to compensate you for "emotional trauma?" And what were you doing traveling with items on your person worth more than $5,000 anyway? Did you have gold doubloons in your carry-on or what?

What is wrong with this picture? Seriously, is it too much to expect that you'd be thankful that your guardian angel wasn't off on a 48-hour choir retreat? Maybe these two guys should be reincarnated as the birds next go round.